6-4-09

Simba’s June Blog

Last week, while watching the drag races on TV, there was an interview with funny car driver John Force that I tuned in to. His hair was sticking up and he was talking very loud and very fast. He kind of looked a little crazy. There were fans lined up to get his autograph and the crowds cheered when he raced his car. He seemed like a pretty popular guy out there at the track that day.

Now I’m not one to drop names but I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I know him. Yes, I’ve spent a lot of time with that man. His daughter is my owner so I guess you could say that he and I are family. While watching the race on ESPN2 I realized that I have been missing out on a great opportunity to write a tell-all blog about one of the most popular and successful drivers in NHRA history. And if a book deal comes from this, well, hey, that’s doing business. I am now almost 1 year old, and in cat years entering the prime of my life career-wise. So if I have some great John Force stories then I need to share them with the world! And I don’t sugar coat either. I am an American Bobtail which I think is somehow related to a wild bob cat which is a fierce animal in the wild. And though I may be a pampered and spoiled indoor cat, I am also a wild animal at heart and tell it like it is. Let me tell you the real story of Mr. John Force.

He talks faster than I can fall into a toilet (which unfortunately just happened to me recently. How else am I supposed to reach the toilet paper?) He has really crazy hair all the time. In fact, when I first met him I thought we might be from the same litter! He loves drag racing and talks about it all the time. I guess because he’s a race car driver who goes over 300 miles per hour his personality makes sense- very fast and very loud. Maybe that’s a requirement to get your funny car license. Maybe I should look into getting mine…

John is extremely allergic to everything including hairspray, animal fur, fluffy pillows and sometimes his kids if they are acting up. I’ve heard stories about the family’s previous cat Timber. Now this cat was a beautiful long haired cat with a flat face. Cute if you like that type but obviously not as handsome as me. Anyways, John was so allergic to Timber that he’d always complain when he was at home. Now cats know if someone doesn’t like them. That is exactly whose lap they jump right up on. A perfect example is John and Timber. Whenever the family was all at home Timber would walk right by the 3 girls reaching out to cuddle with him and head straight for dad’s lap. This Timber sounds like someone I could have become pals with. Yes, John was always coughing when Timber was around.

One day, however, the family was all in the living room celebrating one of the Force girl’s birthdays. Now this in itself is interesting to watch. I can tell you first hand, it doesn’t matter how old these girls get, their mom Laurie does the birthday thing like they’re still 5 years old! When Ashley turned 26 Laurie did it all- the cake, the presents, the family gathered around the fireplace, right down to blowing out candles and taking a family picture. I swear that lady would still dress Ashley Brittany and Courtney in matching dresses if they’d let her! Anyways, back to my story from years ago, the family is gathered in the living room and John is sitting on a big pink chair (that is 100% Laurie as well) and Timber is no where to be seen. John hasn’t coughed or complained once as he assumes the cat is upstairs. Little does he know Timber is asleep right under the chair he’s sitting in! Later that evening Timber, sleepy from his daylong nap, decides to wander out from under the chair and check out the wrapping paper in the middle of birthday party. As soon as John sees the cat he starts coughing! I believe this was the exact moment when the 3 young Force girls first realized what a drama king and story teller their dad actually was!

Now this happened years ago, and little Timber is now up in pet heaven, however something of a miracle happened when I came into everyone’s life last November. For whatever reason, maybe it’s the wild animal in me, John is not allergic! When the family realized this they cheered and sang with joy waving their hands in the air! How amazing! John can breathe! So now John is my buddy, and many times when I go over to visit I’ll climb up on the guy and take a little nap with him. That works for about 5 minutes until he thinks of something to talk about. That man can talk! Then I find somewhere more peaceful and less noisy to sleep…like under the pink chair.    That’s always a perfect spot!

Purr…..Simba